Help Your Child Label Their Emotions, Not Themselves

We humans usually get labeling backward. We label ourselves, not our emotions. When we reverse it, we can feel so much better (and help our kids to do the same).

Not long ago one of my daughter's closest friends was at our house. If you have a teenager, you may or may not have a child who is unrelated to you show up at your house like they live there.

This particular child will often pull up a stool to our counter and share with me. Most of the time, I just listen. Once in a while, I will offer something - not from the seat of the therapist [I am not one], but as a mom. This was done for me as well. I can count at least three moms who guided me when I needed it most.

Anyway, during this sharing, the friend described themselves several times as "an anxious person."

Carefully choosing my words, I said, "Are you your anxiety?"

The friend paused and looked at me blankly for a moment. "Huh?"