The "It's OK to Say No" Smorgasbord
Oh geez. It's so hard to say no to stuff. Especially if you're a people pleaser. Saying "yes" can seem way easier than managing guilt, judgment, or confrontation. You know how it goes, "Oh, I'll just do it. Whatever. It'll be fine."
This time of year 🎁, there are lots of "asks" for our time and energy. Many of those are important. But also, many of them are not.
Coping Super Skill: A "Thoughtful No"
Learning how to say a thoughtful no - one that is considerate to ourselves and others, is a Super Skill.
By sharing this essential life skill with our kids, they can set boundaries, manage time + responsibilities, and practice being assertive and polite. (Unless someone is rolling past their boundaries. Then they don't need to be polite!)
Responding (Not Reacting) to Requests
Practicing a thoughtful no and a thoughtful yes means we're responding to a request instead of reacting to it (from say, guilt, worry, pressure, FOMO). We're thinking things through: "Am I saying no/yes for the right reasons?"
Saying "yes" can invite growth and experience (tasting a new food, joining a club), but it's just as important to be able to say "no": "No, I'm not giving you my phone number." "No, you can't copy my homework."
As parents, practicing a thoughtful no leaves bandwidth for all those times we say "yes." Talking to our kids & teens about how (and why) we say "no" gives them a model to follow. Here's some teachable material to draw from...
